


Equidistant

by Artemis_Day



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Lokane family, Post-Infinity Wars, Post-Ragnarok, Protective Loki, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-01-31 06:42:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12676473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Day/pseuds/Artemis_Day
Summary: Five years after the defeat of Thanos, Jane and Loki have settled into a peaceful life and started a family. When Jane is in a terrible accident, Loki will do whatever it takes to bring back the woman he loves, but is everything truly as it seems?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> New fic I've been working on, and a short one. Only five chapters long. It'll be a bit different from my other Lokane fics and you'll see what I mean by that later. 
> 
> Please note there will be some spoilers for Ragnarok in the coming chapters. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The phone rang once before Loki picked it up. The jingly bubblegum pop Darcy set as his ringtone made his ears bleed and until she gave up the knowledge of how to change it, Loki's options were to keep the accursed thing shut off or as close within reach as possible.

Jane's picture, emblazoned on the screen above her name, was a candid shot of her in the lab, her natural habitat. He'd taken it a month ago while she was chatting over video with Stark about reprogramming her bridge for a company trip to Vanaheim. At the same time, she busied herself resoldering the outer plate of her remote transmitter. She still had bedhead and there was a spot of soot on her cheek. It was so perfectly 'Jane' he couldn't not immortalize the moment.

He'd love to gaze upon her image for want of the real thing, but then there was that blasted song again. He unlocked the phone to silence it and was immediately hit with a burst of feedback. Loki held the phone away from his ear, waiting for the white noise to cease. When it did, computerized voice commands and whirring drills took its place. Apparently, they had thirty minutes left until the downloads were complete. A good thing to know.

"I take it all is going well for you, love?" He leaned on the counter, crossing one leg over the other to get comfortable.

"It will be once I get this stupid program to work," Jane muttered. She was typing again, and if he paid attention he knew exactly which keys she was hitting. He grimaced; if she used those codes, her computer would never cooperate.

"Have you tried resetting it?"

"Twice." More typing, followed by a curse. "Anyway, how's your day been?"

Loki hummed. "It just so happens I've found myself in the company of a rather lovely young woman."

"Oh have you?" she said wryly.

"Yes, we've spent many hours together since your departure." Loki glanced into Christina's bedroom. Her door was wide open and she was on her bed, surrounded by stuffed animals and crayon drawings. Her favorite pony doll danced up and down, led by the invisible waves of her magic. "I'm sure you'd agree she's quite a sight."

"Well, now I feel threatened," Jane said. "Mind if I talk to her?"

"If you're brave enough." With barely a thought, Loki plucked the doll out of the air and lowered it to the ground. Christina's magic bounced harmlessly off his as she attempted to wrest control from him. "Your mother's on the phone."

Her face lit up. "Mommy!" She bounded across the living room, leaping onto the couch and snatching the proffered phone. "Hi, Mommy!"

"Hi sweetie," Loki heard Jane say. It wasn't that he wanted to listen in, but with his hearing it was unavoidable. "I've missed you so much."

"I miss you, too," said Christina. "When are you coming home?"

"Soon, baby. Uncle Tony and I are almost done here and then I'll be on the plane. Have you been on your best behavior for Daddy?"

"Uh-huh," Christina nodded.

"And has Daddy been on his best behavior?"

"Um…"

Loki took the phone back, tickling Christina when she tried to protest. As she collapsed in giggles, Loki waited for Jane to finish yelling at Stark for whatever boneheaded thing he'd done now to slow them down.

"Jane, are you sure you don't need me there?" he asked, careful to let only a hint of concern leak into his voice. "I only ask because while a functioning bridge should be child's play, Midgardians other than yourself are understandably slow."

"For a second there, I thought you were complimenting me," she quipped. "So close and yet so far."

"Only for you," he said, smiling once before the mirth faded. "Regardless, it would take me little effort to get there. I can have Darcy over to look after Christina."

"I thought you wouldn't trust Darcy with a gnat, much less our daughter."

"Perhaps she is slightly more responsible than I gave her credit for."

"Everything is fine," Jane said firmly. "Tony's with me and Captain Rogers is here. I'm completely safe. I'm going to get this program working, we're going to get the bridge upgraded, and I'll be on the red eye before midnight."

"So you've said," Loki sighed. "Regardless, I shall keep up my vigil until you are once more in my arms."

"Aww, listen to you, all romantic." Jane chuckled. She went silent for a moment, and for once, there was no discernable reason why. "I love you, Loki."

Loki patted Christina's head as she pressed into his side, the same way her mother did when she felt affectionate. "I love you, too. Tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow," Jane said.

He ended the call, but the phone remained in his hand even as Christina climbed into his lap. She played with a piece of her hair. "I hope Mommy comes back soon. I miss her."

Loki kissed the crown of his daughter's head. "And your mother misses you, but fear not, Angel. Soon she will be home with us again, and all will be well."

"You promise?" Christina looked up at him, her eyes sharing his color but more inquisitive than his had ever been, even at the equivalent of her age. Just another way she was truly Jane's daughter.

He pushed away the inexplicable dread gnawing at his skull, remembering this was not the first time Jane's work had come with risks. All possible scenarios had been accounted for with proper measures taken to ensure safety and success. Jane was not alone and Midgard's heroes had proven themselves worthy warriors in the fight against Thanos. Loki was not so proud (or no longer so proud) to admit the universe would've fallen without them. Compared to that, protecting one woman should be simple. It was simple.

There was nothing to fear.

"I promise."

**

The news would report on the accident for weeks to come, and every story was exactly the same.

_"A series of explosions sent shockwaves through the New Mexico desert earlier today-"_

_"Dr. Jane Foster-Odinson, Noted Astrophysicist and associate of The Avengers, was on the scene at the time of the incident-"_

_"We currently have no official death toll-"_

_"Sources indicate no one was killed but several were injured in the blast-"_

_"Representatives of Stark Industries and The Avengers have been unavailable for comment-"_

_"We're just getting word that Dr. Foster was in range of the blast-"_

_"Surveillance footage shows Captain Rogers carrying Dr. Foster out of the rubble. She is being airlifted to a secure location as we speak-"_

_"So far, no explanation has been released as to the cause of the explosion-_

_"Dr. Foster is in our thoughts and we wish her a speedy recovery. We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds here on-"_

**

Loki kicked open the double doors leading to the Intensive Care Unit, never breaking stride and paying no mind to the doctors and nurses doing their best to get out of his way. As a former villain and potential world conqueror, there was never a shortage of Midgardians on high alert when he was near. That no one had turned a gun on him yet was thanks to the sleeping child in his arms.

Christina had nodded off on the way over. Pulled out of bed at four in the morning, she'd had strength enough to grab her favorite toy and nod at Loki's hurried explanation that Mommy was hurt. She stirred in his arms as the chaos reached her ears. Loki whispered soothing words, but his voice was strained and he doubted he'd put her at ease.

Nurses wheeled in more injured scientists. Some were bleeding, some had bones sticking out in the wrong direction. Nobody was dead, he'd been told. His Jane was alive somewhere in this building. Scanning the lobby, he saw no one he recognized. Stark and Rogers were either on a gurney or outside containing the media circus. It was nothing but hospital white and doctor blue for miles.

"Daddy, where are we?" she asked, rubbing the sand from her eyes.

"The hospital, angel," Loki answered. "We're here to see your mother."

He searched for an information booth. He found Natasha Romanov barreling towards them. Since the war with Thanos, Loki had reached an understanding with the Black Widow. She'd never forgive him for what he did to her friend (Loki still held that her feelings for Barton were more than platonic), but she'd accepted his change in allegiance gracefully and the two maintained a civil, if not very close, relationship.

"Where is she?" Loki demanded.

There were bags under Natasha's eyes and her makeup was smudged. Her casual dress indicated she'd been dragged out of bed for the occasion. "She was injured in the explosion but I don't know anything else yet."

"Where is my wife?"

"Room 302 is hers, but you have to go alone," Natasha nodded sadly at Christina. She had a soft spot for the girl and her mother. Another level of common ground they shared.

Unfortunately, such respect wouldn't get her far when Loki was already in the worst mood of his life. "I will see her with our daughter at my side, thank you."

"It's a hospital rule," said Natasha. "Kids aren't allowed in the ICU unless they're a patient. She shouldn't even be in this hallway."

"I'd like to see you or anyone else try and stop me," Loki seethed.

Later on, when his mood had improved, he'd commend Agent Romanov for standing her ground. She and her comrades had witnessed his 'interrogation' techniques against Thanos's loyal followers. The way they screamed in agony, slowly driven insane as he dug into their minds and ripped apart their memories, taking what he needed and leaving soulless, drooling husks behind.

"Loki, if it were up to me, you would both be with her right now," she said, "but Jane has a concussion and we don't know what state she'll be in when she wakes up. It's better if Christina doesn't see her until she's stable."

"She will see her now."

"No, she won't." Natasha plucked the girl out of Loki's arms, setting her down and kneeling to her level. "Christina, why don't you come with me while Daddy goes to see Mommy."

"I wanna go, too!"

"I know, honey, and you will, but we have to make sure she's better first." If only she knew how close Loki was to destroying her. Magic built at his fingertips. He could her bones into dust with barely a thought. Then she looked up, eyes narrowed dangerously. "You really want to start a fight in here? After everything?"

Of course, she was right, much as it pained him. Loki gritted his teeth but forced himself to relax. He pulled his magic back, the sparks of green light vanishing. He turned his best approximation of a smile onto his daughter. Judging from her expression, it only made her more scared. "Go with Agent Romanov, angel. I will come for you after I've seen your mother."

Christina puffed out her cheeks, clutching her doll hard enough to take its head off. She was neither a problem child nor a golden child. If she couldn't have her way, she'd understand, but only after arguing until her face turned blue. There was no time to play games today, and they both knew it. She whimpered, but took Natasha's hand and walked to the exit with her.

"Tell mommy I missed her a lot!" she shouted back at Loki. "A whole lot!"

They disappeared through the double doors, but Loki heard them a few seconds longer.

"Why don't you introduce me to your friend, Christina?"

A sniffle. "Her name's Twilight Sparkle and she's the princess of friendship."

"Wow, that's great! Just like you're the princess of Asgard."

"Uh huh… Mommy's a princess, too."

"Yeah, she is."

As their voices faded, Loki followed the numbers on the wall through the two hundred eighties and nineties. Every room he passed was occupied. Some wore casts, others were burnt. All of them had come from the same disaster. Friends and family members sat around them, praying if they were so inclined and talking amongst themselves if they weren't. Several patients locked eyes with him. None spoke. Every injury he saw was worse than the last.

Passed the elevators and another crowded reception area, the only obstacle between him and Jane was a commemorative display honoring the many lives lost to Thanos. Hundreds of photos lined the walls in rows of ten, but they were only a fraction of the true death toll. Most of the names or faces were unknown to him, and he cared little to learn them. It wasn't a matter of apathy, but simply that death was so commonplace in wartime. He was a thousand years old and a seasoned warrior. He'd seen more lives snuffed out than there were people in America. Such was the way of it when fighting for a worthy cause.

At the center of the memorial, one photo stood out. James Buchanan Barnes smiled at Loki's solemn face. He had a handsome visage, his eyes older than his face but bright regardless.

'In Memory of Bucky Barnes: a true hero,' read the plaque. A similar one marked his grave, merely a decorative amenity. There hadn't been much left of Barnes to bury once Thanos was through. He'd taken a hundred members of the mad titan's army with him, monsters who would've killed hundreds more if left unchecked. For that, the dead man earned Loki's respect. A shame he'd never known him.

He found Room 302. A curtain shrouded his Jane and her nurses in shadow. A woman stepped out, carrying a wet washcloth. She was short and squat and her tag bore the name 'Mindy'. Her professional countenance disappeared in the face of Loki's penetrating gaze.

"Oh… hello, Mr. uh… sir," she twiddled her thumbs like a buffoon. Loki could've ripped those thumbs off at the bone.

"How is she?"

She gulped and straightened her back, feigning courage she'd never have. "Dr. Foster is asleep right now. We're not sure yet the extent of the damage. We won't know anything until she wakes up. Until then, she's comfortable-"

"Let me see her." Loki wasn't asking and he wouldn't listen to any more blubbering. He walked through the door- the nurse was smart enough not to block him. He ripped open the curtains and his stomach dropped.

Her face was peaceful. She could've been asleep in their bed at home if not for the gash on her cheek and the bandages on her forehead. Fair skin was blanched white, her hair a mess of knots. Had she always been so small? She couldn't fill that bed if there were three of her. A thin cotton blanket covered her from the shoulders down. They'd dressed her in a hospital gown more hideous than their uniforms. He never thought such a feat was possible, but Midgardians were full of surprises.

The nurse checking Jane's vitals was stronger than her compatriot. Her reaction to Loki's presence was to stand between him and Jane, her arms outstretched as if she had the strength in her tiny mortal body to restrain him. "Mr. Odinson, wait a second."

"Move."

"I need to explain what happened to your wife."

"Move or you will be moved."

"Mr. Odinson, Dr. Foster has a moderate to severe concussion," she shouted over his threats. "She's stable for now but we don't know when she'll wake up. You can stay, but you have to be gentle with her."

Loki closed his eyes and balled his fists. Exhaling through his nose he calmly stepped backward, allowing the nurse to finish her work. She was comfortable enough to do so, barring a glance here and there over her shoulder. Loki briefly considered leaving a few duplicates around the room to make her squirm, but no. Jane wouldn't approve.

A weak moan issued from Jane's parted lips and she turned her head from one side to the other. The nurse was on her before Loki could push her away, bending over her prone form with a hand on her forehead. "Jane? Honey, are you awake? Can you hear me?"

How dare she! She was speaking to Jane as though she were a child. His Jane, the most brilliant woman in this realm… in any realm! Treated like an infant by this insignificant nothing of a mortal...

"Wha…" Jane moaned weakly.

"Jane, you're at the hospital," the nurse said. "Don't try to lift your head, but can you open your eyes?"

"Ha… there was… splosion…"

"You're safe now, Honey. You're going to be okay," the nurse patted Jane's head like a dog. "I've got your husband here. He's been so worried about you."

"Husband…" Jane spoke clearly for the first time. A tiny curvature of her lips and the weight on Loki's heart alleviated. "Hus... "

"Why don't I leave you two alone okay?" She saw herself out with a single nod in Loki's direction.

With that nuisance out of the way, nothing mattered to Loki except Jane. She was not yet fully conscious, so he set to work repairing the damage that fool of a nurse had done to her hair. Jane was not a vain woman, nor did she give more than a passing thought to her appearance, but she never liked anyone else touching her hair. They didn't know how to be careful with the knots, she'd say. Except for Loki, of course. He could run his fingers through those flowing brown locks as much as he pleased.

How had he found such a woman as Jane, he wondered. How had he won her heart when her first interaction with his world was Thor. Certainly women had preferred Loki in the past, but never once had the great thunderer lost a woman to the trickster. Not before Jane.

He found her in a vulnerable state, running through the battlefield with a weapon she and Stark had developed. There she was, this fearless human with no combat skills, dodging fatal blasts by virtue of dumb luck. Loki had followed her, intrigued by the gall of her. Throwing herself into battle, her only concern was that she wouldn't reach Stark in time to hand the device off.

Fortunately for her, Ironman met them halfway. He rolled his eyes as though he was in any position to judge someone else's life choices and ordered (yes, ordered) Loki to 'get her the hell out of here'. Loki was so amused that he happily complied, carrying her bridal style to an underground safe house amid protests that she could walk, thank you very much.

That was the moment it began. The moment the God of Mischief went soft. Except he hadn't really, he'd just gained a new reason to fight. And when Jane became pregnant, that gave him two. Four years had passed and their love burned brighter every day. Sometimes, Loki wondered what his life would be if he hadn't followed Jane that day on the battlefield. Where would he be now? Would he have rejoined Thanos? Would he be alive today at all?

So many questions he could never answer, and would never want to.

Jane twisted out of his grasp. She moaned and opened her eyes to stare at the beige curtain. It was an ugly color, he thought. He should change it to blue for her. Blue was her favorite after green.

"Jane," he whispered. "Can you hear me?"

She turned, following the sound of his voice. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused. She looked at him, not smiling or sighing with relief. Not demanding he get her out of this dump and take her home because she was fine and they needed to figure out what went wrong with the test. She just… looked at him.

Then she screamed.

She screamed loud enough to send Loki into the wall and bring not only the nurses but several men in white coats back into the room. They held Jane down as she struggled, her shrieks of fear rising over their bewildered assurances that everything was fine.

"Jane, stop it!" One doctor said. "You need to calm down."

"NO!" she shouted. "No! He can't be here! He's dead! Get him away!"

"Mr. Odinson," the first nurse, Mindy, had lost all fear of him and pushed him outside. "She might be confused right now. Let us take care of her."

He nodded, standing rigidly like a zombie as the cries of his wife assaulted his ears like a thousand knives.

"Dr. Foster, it's okay! It's just your husband-"

"No! He's not my husband! He's not my husband!"

The nurse left him with a sympathetic look, closing the door behind her. He couldn't hear the doctors anymore, but as he walked to the other end of the ICU, Jane's voice echoed clear as a bell.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what it is about this chapter, but I had the most ridiculously hard time writing it, and even after editing, I'm still not sure how much I like it. Oh well, at least it's done.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Christina was a smart girl. Smarter than all the other kids in her class. She could count to one hundred and read The Cat in the Hat all by herself. She knew how to tell time and how to dress herself. She could cast a spell to get rid of her carrots when she didn't want to eat them. Most of all, she knew when something was wrong and nobody wanted to tell her.

When Daddy was sad, he got really loud. He yelled and screamed and made people run away from him. Except for Mommy. She stayed and yelled back because she wasn't afraid of anything. It always made Daddy calm down and be happy again. When he was mad, it was different. He never yelled, he used his scary face instead.

Christina had seen his scary face before, like the one time he caught her making her carrots disappear. She saw it again when he was talking to Natasha. He used his super scary face because Natasha was a hero and heroes weren't scared of his regular scary face.

Something was wrong with Mommy. She was hurt or she was sick. Christina wished someone would tell her. Natasha had bought her a double chocolate chip ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles and chocolate sauce on top. It was Christina's favorite, but she was only supposed to have it for her birthday or when she did a good job at school. Whatever was going on, it must be really bad.

When she got tired, Natasha brought her to a room with a big comfy couch. The nurse gave them a blanket and Natasha tucked her in.

"Get some rest, Christina," she said. "Everything will be fine."

She'd been saying that all night.

Even though she was scared for Mommy, Christina was sound asleep in seconds. Her dreams were always fun ever since she learned to control them. She could make her dreamland whatever she wanted, a beach or a park or Disney World. Sometimes, she made them like a memory, but they never came out right and redoing her birthday party stopped being fun after the fifth time.

Sometimes she was alone in dreamland, and sometimes she brought friends. Today there was a little boy she'd never met playing with action figures in the garden while Christina brushed a life-sized Twilight Sparkle's mane. He had dark hair and brown eyes. There was a teddy bear in a blue jacket next to him. They didn't talk or look at each other. The sky should have been sunny, but Christina's mood turned it grey and cloudy.

"My mommy is hurt," she said. She dropped the brush and Twilight flew away.

"So's mine," said the boy.

Natasha shook Christina awake as she was showing the boy how to put together a jigsaw puzzle. They never got to finish it, but the picture was a star.

"Christina, we have to go now," Natasha said. "They're moving your mom to another part of the hospital."

"Okay," Christina nodded. "I made a new friend in my dream. His mommy's sick, too."

Natasha's phone rang, and Christina stopped talking. Mommy always said that when someone was on the phone, it was rude to interrupt. Natasha took the call and led Christina to the door. She clutched her Twilight doll for comfort but found the warm plush lacking for the first time in her life.

"I hope Mommy's okay, Twilight…" she whispered.

**

"It looks like retrograde amnesia," the doctor said, keeping a distance of five feet and the receptionist's desk between them. He was of average height and build, no warrior by any stretch of the imagination. If Loki wanted, he could blink and the man's spine would be ripped from his body. The way he was feeling, it might even be cathartic.

"Explain," he hissed.

The doctor gulped as beads of sweat formed on his brow. "Uh… well, sometimes head injuries cause a deficit in one's memory meaning-"

"I know what amnesia is!" Loki bared his teeth at the simpering human. "Tell me how you're going to fix it."

"W-we're not sure yet," the doctor squeaked. "We have to run some tests. If we're lucky, her memory will come back naturally."

"If we're lucky?" Magic sizzled in his blood, ready to burst forth until a hand on his arm and an obnoxious voice in his ear doused the flames.

"Woah, okay Rudolph, let's dial it back a notch." Tony Stark had changed into a clean suit, but his hair was a mess and his eyes bloodshot. Steve Rogers trailed behind him in a uniform stained with dirt and soot, not even trying to keep up appearances. "I'll take it from here, Doc. You've got other patients."

The doctor looked ready to kiss Stark. After he scurried away like a roach, Stark refused to release Loki's arm. Apparently, he wasn't all that fond of his hand. "You can let go now, Stark."

"Not until you've calmed down," Stark said. "I know that look. You can't have a temper tantrum in a hospital, especially on a planet you tried to conquer once. Unless you want to get kicked out?"

"If these idiots would do their jobs, I'd have no need to complain," Loki ground out. He called back his magic regardless. Stark was an imbecile, but every now and then he made a fair point.

"We should find someplace private," said Rogers, eyeing the many spectators who'd halted their daily tasks to watch the show.

"Agreed," Loki and Stark said, never breaking eye contact.

They found a vacant waiting room which locked from the inside. Stark scanned the perimeter for bugs while Rogers closed the curtains. Loki could've handled both tasks in the blink of an eye if not for Jane's screams ceaselessly echoing in his ears. All semblance of concentration was lost in the face of that. Not to mention the sickening thought of what else Jane might've forgotten.

"First things first." Stark laced his fingers behind his back as if he were in charge. "Where's Christina?"

"Agent Romanov is watching her."

"Works for me. Should go without saying we can't let her see Jane like this."

"Truly an astute observation," Loki said curtly. "Now that we've successfully stated the obvious, why don't you explain what happened to my wife?"

Stark narrowed his eyes but knew better than to pick a fight. Largely because of Rogers' presence. Without a peacekeeper, one of them would've thrown something by now.

"Okay, let's start with the facts." He tapped his watch, projecting a holographic video of Jane at the bridge site. Men and women in lab coats bustled about like good little worker bees. Jane oversaw their work from the main control panel. There was no audio, but Loki could easily envision her delegating responsibilities and supervising repairs."This is ten minutes before the explosion. We had just finished system inspections and software upgrades. At that time, everything looked good."

Stark appeared at the corner of the screen going over numbers with one of the scientists. He gave Jane a thumbs up, which she half-heartedly returned. In the corner was Rogers, a passive observer of the hectic activity. He stepped forward at one point while Jane was rewiring the circuits. He faced away from the camera, his words unclear but for Jane's distracted response.

"What was that? What did you say to her?" Loki rounded on Rogers, backing him against the wall. "Tell me!"

"I was asking if she needed help," Rogers said tersely.

"Not that Steve and I haven't had our own disagreements in the past, but how about a little gratitude?" Stark folded his arms. "Jane would be dead if it wasn't for him."

"She wouldn't be endangered in the first place if you fools weren't so incompetent."

"This from the guy who would've gotten his ass kicked by Thanos without us 'incompetent' humans? That's rich."

"Enough," Rogers shouted. "We're all scared for Jane, but fighting never helps anything. Loki, I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling right now, but you have to control yourself. And Tony, stop antagonizing him. I don't want to ask you to leave."

"Remember that time we lost the Siberian bomber and you broke the record for most f-bombs dropped in one sentence?"

Rogers gave him a dirty look. "Just show him the rest of the video."

The feed continued with Jane ordering all nonessential personnel into the viewing booth. This left her, Stark, and several no-name assistants paid excessive amounts of money to press buttons. Jane secured her goggles and gave the order to launch. Tony paused the video there, leaving it frozen on Jane's glowing smile.

"This is a second before we turned on the generator. Best I can figure, something in the internal workings threw a screw which started a chain reaction leading to a power surge."

"That's what caused the explosion? Your so-called technological advances may be lacking, but I know Jane's bridge is not so delicate that a single loose screw could destroy the mainframe."

"It's almost like you should let me finish, and then go on your little 'Loki smart, humans dumb' rant." Stark unpaused the video. "As I was saying, Jane noticed the disruption and asked me to check it out while she set the program on automatic. By then, the internal damage had spilled over into the core processor and the system overheated. I didn't even get a chance to check it before…"

The screen turned to static, flashes of broken footage blinking in and out. When the visual returned, the scene was one of pure carnage. Fire, broken floors, blue sparks everywhere. Blood poured from broken bodies as they dragged themselves to safety. Those who weren't injured helped them along, then went back to seek out their friends. Jane's console had been reduced to a molten blob of plastic and metal. Jane herself was nowhere to be found.

Stark pressed a button on his watch, bringing up a new feed. This camera had taken the brunt of the blast. A long crack down the middle split the image in half. Through the smoke, he caught multiple shadows running into each other and a gaping hole in the floor. Jane's bridge generator was unharmed, reinforced with vibranium plating to be virtually indestructible. The smoke cleared and there was Steve Rogers, hoisting himself out of the hole with a broken, bleeding Jane over his shoulder.

"She was pretty out of it when we found her," Stark said, pausing to let Loki take it all in. "Right after this, the paramedics took over, I called you, and here we are now. The memory loss we didn't know about yet. If we had, I would've given you the heads up."

"I should have gone with her," Loki paced in a circle like a caged animal, knocking a chair out of his way with a burst of unfocused magic. "I knew I should have gone with her. If I had been there..."

"Well, you weren't, and you can't change the past," said Stark. "All we can do now is wait for Jane to get better and hope the amnesia is temporary."

His phone rang suddenly and at the same time, a nursing assistant poked her head inside, timidly requesting Jane's husband. While Stark backed into a corner to answer the call, Rogers took care of the nurse. She seemed perfectly happy to relay her message to him and not have to speak directly to Loki.

"That was the New Asgardian Embassy," Stark said upon ending the call. "Thor's on his way and will be here in approximately three minutes. I swear you guys are too fast…"

"Jane's being moved upstairs to the trauma unit," Rogers said as the assistant made herself scarce.

"Any change?" Stark asked.

Rogers' face said it all. "They got her to calm down and she fell back asleep. Luckily, she didn't make the concussion any worse."

There was nothing accusing in Rogers' tone but Loki felt the blow anyway. He inhaled through his nose, his muscles tight as he forced his feet forward. Walking didn't calm him down, but it was better than standing still. "If the concussion is causing her memory loss, will it not return as she heals?"

"Hopefully," said Stark. "Amnesia's a tricky bitch. It can clear up in five minutes or it can last a lifetime. Luckily, Jane's brain scans came back good. No major trauma in the hippocampus."

"So this could resolve itself," said Rogers.

"She could wake up tomorrow morning pining for her favorite reindeer," Stark winked at Loki, though his usual gaiety was absent. "For now, all we can do now is wait. Wait and have lunch. Anyone up for pizza?"

"I couldn't eat if I wanted to, Stark."

"Neither can I, but it's worth a shot." He tapped his earpiece. "FRIDAY, dial Frank's Pizza."

"You really expect me to just sit here and do nothing," Loki seethed.

"No, I expect you to stand and do nothing. Unless you have a better idea of how to help Jane."

Loki definitely had an idea. 'Better' was, by his own admission, debatable, but it was an idea. "We don't have to wait because I can find her memories myself."

Stark gawked at him, as did Rogers. "You wanna run that by me again?"

"Which of my words did you not comprehend, Stark?"

"Loki, that'll never work," said Rogers. "Jane is already hurt and you want to go digging through her mind?"

"Don't speak to me like I'm a fool, Rogers. I would never harm my wife."

"I know, but I've seen you turn hardened soldiers into mindless vegetables with that spell," Rogers said. "You can't blame me for being skeptical."

"I can blame you for trying my patience," Loki growled, stalking towards the captain. "Every second we waste with idle talk is another second Jane spends unaware. If you think I'm going to settle for waiting it out, you are going to be very disappointed."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Loki," said Stark. Loki, in turn, had to agree with him: he couldn't believe it either. "How about we compromise? We do Loki's idea, but we bring in a professional. Someone whose expertise is more on the healing side of things and less on the inducing hallucinations side. What about that healer goddess I've heard about? Air something or other?"

"Eir," Loki said, "and she can't help. She was killed during Hela's invasion."

"She must have had apprentices, though," said Rogers.

"She had several, but they are inexperienced." Loki had met some of them while negotiating a land deal with Norway for Asgard's new island home off the Scandinavian Peninsula. They were fine girls well on their way to becoming renowned healers, but they were still girls. "Most of them have barely reached adulthood."

"Do they know the spell?" Stark asked.

"They do," Loki grudgingly admitted. "You understand you're asking me to place my wife's well-being in the hands of a child?"

"To be fair, brother, there are worse things."

Oh good. The almighty king was here at last.

Thor had switched from his armor to a plain brown jacket and blue jeans for the occasion. His eyepatch was black like a pirate's. His hair had grown back and he'd mostly stopped snapping his teeth when someone holding scissors came within a foot of him. All in all, Midgard was treating the oaf well.

"Hey there, Point Break. How's New Asgard?"

Thor smiled at Stark. "We've all settled in quite well. But enough about that. How is Jane? Do we know yet how much she's forgotten?"

The cheery atmosphere his arrival had brought instantly dissipated. For once in his life, Loki hadn't the words to speak. He lowered his gaze to the floor as Rogers answered: "She doesn't remember Loki, so we're thinking she won't remember Christina either. We're not letting her see Jane until we know for sure."

"A wise decision," Thor said grimly. If Loki had to guess, he'd say Thor worried for Christina more than Jane. She'd had that uncle of hers wrapped around her finger from the moment he first held her. "My brother and I owe you a debt of gratitude for saving her, Steve."

He clapped Steve on the shoulder, getting a modest smile in return. "It was nothing, really. I just hope Jane'll be okay."

"She will be, my friend. She is stronger than you know." He turned to Loki. "I can have Ragna here in an hour. Eir always said she was her finest protegee."

"Thank you, brother, but I'd rather do this myself."

"Putting aside the brain-melting thing we're all worried about," Stark butt in, "there's also the issue of objectivity. We don't let parents operate on their children, so how can we let you mind probe your wife?"

"He's right, brother," said Thor. "I know it's hard for you to relinquish control, but for Jane's sake, let me call Ragna."

Loki ground his teeth. Helplessness did not sit well with him and if that bridge wasn't Jane's pride and joy, he'd spirit off to her lab right now and destroy it with his bare hands. Stifling the overwhelming rage, he said: "Do it."

Thor sighed. "Thank you, brother."

"Okay, glad we got that worked out. Didn't even have to punch anyone." Stark walked to the door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go deal with the press. They've been outside salivating since we got here."

"Tell them to leave at once and never return, or else the wrath of the God of Mischief shall rain down upon them for the rest of their pathetic lives."

"And the God of Thunder," Thor added as he typed out a message to Ragna on his phone.

"Copy that."

They didn't stick around long after Stark left. The lobby had quieted down now that all patients had been relocated to the appropriate department. Loki led the way to triage where they were given Jane's room number and directions to the elevator. Rogers never said a word even as the receptionist saluted him. They followed the signs and Rogers continued to lag behind, first by one step, then by five.

"Is there a problem, Rogers?" Loki didn't care in the slightest, but the captain's brooding was wearing on his nerves.

"Everything's fine…" Rogers said, shaking his head. "I mean, it's not fine, but… this is going to sound weird, but does Jane ever talk about me?"

Loki's jaw clenched. "My wife has no reason to think of other men if _that's_ what you're inferring."

"It's not," Rogers said. "I only ask because of something Jane said."

Loki slowed to a stop. "I beg your pardon?"

Rogers bit his lip. "When I found her, she was still awake. She kept talking to herself. Most of it I couldn't understand, but when I picked her up, she looked at me and said 'I'm so happy to see you, Steve.'"

"What's so strange about that?"

"She never calls me Steve, only Captain Rogers." He shrugged. "It might not mean anything, but… I don't know..."

Loki appraised Rogers. His posture was strong, but something in the air around him had shifted. It wasn't a question of what, because the answer was obvious. In order to reach the elevators, they had to pass the war memorial. James Barnes would have smiled at Rogers as he had in life. As he did before removing his commlink and running headfirst into battle like a true warrior.

"You lost someone dear to you in the war against Thanos, did you not?" Rogers sucked in a breath. He never liked talking about Barnes. "Perhaps you didn't love him the way I love my Jane, but I trust you realize I will do anything to get her back."

Rogers nodded. He likely didn't trust himself to speak. That was fine. Loki had no time to listen. He went ahead and found Thor holding a car. They rode to the seventh floor in silence. Loki watched the numbers light up in sequence, from two to three to four to five. They never stopped and no one else got on. It was as much a relief as it was agitating. Nothing in the world would bring Loki joy more than looking into Jane's eyes and seeing all the love and devotion they had shared for the last few years.

But he wouldn't see any of that today, and the worst part of all was knowing it.

**

"Natasha, can I have a cookie?"

Natasha put down her magazine. Christina was on the couch with her Twilight doll, watching My Little Pony on the wall TV. Her favorite episode was on, the one where Fluttershy had to teach Discord to be a good guy. She wasn't paying much attention and kept staring at the floor instead of the screen.

"I'll see if the nurses have some wafers," Natasha said.

"No, those are yucky." Christina pulled her head out of the pillow, showing Natasha wide, tear-filled eyes. "A chocolate chip cookie from the cafeteria would make me feel better. Please?"

It took a stronger, colder person than Natasha Romanov to deny a frightened three-year-old. "Promise me you'll stay right here until I get back."

"I cross my heart and hope to die."

Natasha eyed her suspiciously, but as Christina went back to staring aimlessly at nothing, she seemed satisfied that no funny business was going on and slipped silently out of the room. Christina waited for her steps to fade and counted to sixty. The door didn't open. She leaped off the couch with a cheer. "We did it, Twilight! She's gone. Now let's go find Mommy."

Christina ran to the door and looked out. There was a doctor, a nurse, and a man with a food cart down the hall. She opened the door slowly; it had a really loud creak. None of them paid attention to her and then they disappeared into different rooms. The coast was clear.

"Okay Twilight, let's go over the plan." She set the doll down and put her hands on her hips. "First, we find Mommy. Then, we tell the doctors to make her better so we can go home. With any luck, we'll be back before bedtime. Any questions?"

Twilight swayed and fell on her side.

"Very good. Time to impelment phase one." Christina closed her eyes, concentrating on the waves of magic floating around her. Her daddy always said they were everywhere, but most people didn't know how to sense them. That was why she was special. Grabbing hold of the waves, she recited the spell in her head. Her body tingled like she'd been split in half. When she opened her eyes, a perfect copy of herself lay on the couch under the covers, exactly how Natasha had left her.

"Daddy's gonna be so proud of me," she whispered to Twilight as she tip-toed out of the waiting room.

She kept close to the wall, hiding behind a garbage can when the food cart man came back out and moved to the next room. Another spell could make her invisible, but Christina hadn't learned that one yet, so she only had her wits to go by. She had great wits, though. Mommy and Daddy always said so. Speaking of Mommy, the first room Christina checked wasn't hers. There was an old man with a bandage on his head.

The second room wasn't her's either. Neither was the third or the fourth. She was getting closer to the end of the hall and Natasha could be back in the waiting room trying to figure out why Christina wouldn't talk or move. Making the copies do things was another spell she didn't know yet.

"Dr. Foster," someone said in the next room over. "I'm sorry to wake you, but we need to check your vitals."

"Okay…" said a really sleepy voice Christina would know anywhere.

"Mommy!"

She sprinted down the hall, forgetting all about being a super sneaky spy. She smacked into a doctor's legs and kept going. Someone shouted her name and it might've been Natasha. She didn't care. Her mommy needed her.

"Mommy!" She curtains aside with her mind. They flew off the rings into the corner. Her mommy was propped up in bed, pale with band-aids all over her face and arms. Maybe she tripped and fell from really high up. Christina did that once. It hurt so bad she cried for an hour.

"Sweetie, you can't be in here," said a nurse holding a thermometer.

Christina ignored her. She approached the bed, so excited she could hardly speak. "Hi, Mommy! I missed you so much. Did you miss me, too? Did you?"

She jumped up and down as Jane stared at her. Her mouth hung open; her eyes were scrunched together like she was confused. "What?"

"I drew you a picture. It's us and Daddy looking at the stars on a hill. I would've brought it with me, but Daddy said we had to leave fast because you got hurt, so I couldn't."

"Wait, I don't…" she closed her eyes and was silent for a long time. She opened them again and they landed on Christina without a hint of recognition. "Who are you?"

Christina giggled, though her heart wasn't in it. She had that bad feeling again. "I'm Christina, silly. Your daughter."

She reached for her mother's hand, but Jane snatched it away. Her pale skin had become a lot paler. "No… no, that's not right. I don't have a daughter.

Christina's heart sank to her feet. "Of course you do. I'm your daughter!"

"Stop it. Just stop it." Jane buried her head in her hands as sobs wracked her body. "I don't know you. Go away."

"But..." Fresh tears welled up in Christina's eyes, real ones. Suddenly, a scrape on the knee didn't seem quite so bad. "Mommy-"

"I'm not your mommy!"

Jane screamed so loud it shook the room. Christina had been yelled at before. She'd been punished before, but never had her mommy sounded like this. Like she never wanted to see Christina again. Like she hated her.

As the nurse struggled to calm Jane down, Christina ran, wailing at the top of her lungs. She nearly collided with her father and Uncle Thor. Loki caught her, his expression one of horror as he immediately understood what had happened. "Christina-"

She shoved him away and kept running, so fast her legs ached. She ran until she couldn't run anymore, and then she fell to the ground and cried her eyes out.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got this out after a hundred years. Only one more chapter followed by an epilogue.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

He should never have brought Christina.

He should have sent her off to Darcy. She only lived five blocks away. Or he could've spirited her to Norway and had Selvig watch her. He'd known this before the accident. He should have done it the second his instincts told him there was a problem. It would've taken him a whole extra minute. Thirty seconds if he was quick about it. Or even twenty.

He always prided himself on his calm under pressure. When the broken rainbow bridge dropped him on Thanos's rock, he won the titan's trust in the face of imminent death by torture. When Thanos came back and demanded Loki hold up his end of the bargain, Loki handled it. He stayed under thumb while feeding information to Thor using the secret code they'd developed as children. He'd played the part of an obedient number two until Thanos's suspicions grew too high and he could no longer afford to pretend. Whatever came his way, Loki always had his dignity. He always knew what to expect.

He stood before the weeping form of his daughter, so small his eyes almost slid past her, and never felt like a greater fool.

Loki kneeled beside her, pushing sections of hair off her wet cheeks. It was getting too long, he noted dully. She was due for a trip to the barbershop. He wondered what special treat they'd have to promise her this time to get her in the chair. She hated barber shops even more than she hated going to the dentist, and that was saying something.

Paying no mind to the befuddled stares of hospital personnel, Loki scooped Christina up and started walking. No one got in his way, which he appreciated. After what just happened, he had no more energy to drive clueless onlookers off. The triage nurse pointed out a vacant private waiting room and Loki nodded in thanks.

Inside were a dozen uncomfortable chairs and a muted TV running infomercials. Motivational posters encouraged the sick to embrace the power of positive thinking. Brochures for different sections of the hospital were color-coded and neatly stacked on the coffee table. Loki sat down, careful not to jostle his sniffling cargo.

"Mommy hates me," she croaked.

"No, Christina," Loki stared deep into the eyes she inherited from him. "Listen to me now, your mother loves you more than anything in the world. She could never hate you."

"But she said she wasn't my mommy."

"She's confused," Loki said. "That's all, just confused. She doesn't know what she's saying."

"What happened to her?"

Loki's heart ached. This had been so much easier with Stark and Rogers. Not even Thor made him feel so much like he would come apart at the seams. But they weren't his daughter. They weren't the ones who smiled just like Jane, laughed just like Jane, cried just like Jane.

"Your mother is… she is…" Few times in his thousand years of life had Loki been truly lost for words. "Do you remember when I told you there was an accident?"

She nodded, eyes wobbling.

"Your mother was injured. She hit her head, and now she's forgotten some things."

"Are you going to make her better?" She clung to his shirt the same way she did when night terrors ravaged her sleep. "You can make her better, right?"

"Of course," Loki said, "and I will. I'll make her better and it will be as though none of this ever happened."

She threw her arms around his neck, no longer crying but seeking comfort. Her body gave off more warmth than any of his accursed race should be capable of, and for that he was grateful. He held her tight, though his arms felt weak. He was bombarded with intrusive thoughts of failure. What if his plan didn't work? What if her memories were irretrievable? What if trying to get them back only made her physical condition worse? What if the Jane he knew and loved was lost to him forever?

All these thoughts and more swarmed in his head like a raging inferno. He doused the flames as best he could. Christina would sense his anguish, and any attempt to soothe her would be rendered moot.

"There now," he whispered in her ear. "No more tears."

"'M not crying," she mumbled, beating her tiny fist against his chest.

Loki chuckled. "Of course. What was I thinking? You're far too grown up for that."

"Uh huh," she said, leaving a wet spot on his shirt. "I'm a big girl now."

"Indeed you are." Loki lifted her chin. "That's why I know you do this. You can be strong for your mother. That's what she needs you to be."

"And she doesn't hate me?"

Loki feigned shock. "Hate you? I don't think there's a soul in all the cosmos who could hate you."

She whimpered. Her tears had dried but her eyes were no less haunted. Loki understood. Nothing would be okay until she heard those words those words from her mother's mouth. She clutched his shirt in her small but strong hands, her breathing steady as exhaustion overwhelmed her. She seemed so fragile like this, cradled in his arms as he hummed a lullaby and wished his voice was as sweet as Frigga's.

"Mommy…" she breathed. Her face unscrewed itself and she slipped away into peaceful oblivion.

Loki kept rocking her, unable to let her go. It felt foolish to admit, but it was just as much for his relief as it was hers. If only Jane could see him now, holding their daughter like a lifeline. She'd grin in that perfectly irritating way of hers and say, 'I knew it. The big bad Mischief god is a softie at heart.'

He clung to the memory of her voice. Only when the waves of uneasiness began to ebb did he look at Thor, standing in the open doorway for well over a minute.

"How is she?" Thor closed the door behind him and sat down.

"Confused," Loki said, "and frightened."

Thor nodded. "We all are."

Much as Loki loved wallowing in misery with his brother, there were more important matters at hand. He fixed Thor with an expectant gaze, not voicing the question pressing urgently at his throat, but trusting Thor to get the message.

"Thirty minutes," he said.

"That long?"

"Ragna is abroad in Wakanda. They're flying her in as a favor to us, but it will take some time."

Though he wanted to scream, Loki swallowed his anger. Rising to his feet, he placed Christina on the couch, casting a spell to soften the cushions and summoning a blanket. She twisted around, searching for a comfortable spot. Eventually, she settled on her side and curled up with her favorite toy. For these few blissful moments, she was undisturbed, lost in the land of her dreams. Loki hoped they were happy ones.

He left the room with Thor at his side, the two brothers ready for action. Many centuries ago, when they were mere boys dreaming of glory, Odin had drilled it into their heads never to show the enemy fear. They fed on inhibition, he'd said, for it was the sister of weakness. Though this particular foe was more abstract than a world-conquering tyrant or hostile alien force, Odin's words rang true and Loki followed them to the letter. He was coming apart at the seams, but no one would ever know it.

"Let's go," he said, and what a shame it was that he couldn't enjoy commanding the Mighty Thor for once. "We have work to do."

**

Jane was asleep when they got to her room, and whether it was a blessing or a curse, Loki didn't know. She wasn't screaming at the sight of him, but he'd almost prefer it if she did. At least then she wouldn't look so close to death. Tubes ran from her veins to a pulsing machine hooked up to a monitor attached to the wall. Numbers ran across the screen, changing every few seconds but always staying within the same range. He'd been told this was a good thing. He hoped they were right.

A male nurse unhooked a drip bag from the pole next to her bed and replaced it with a new one. He bent over her, pulling one of her eyes open and flashing a light at the pupil. Neither Jane nor the monitor reacted.

"Looks like she still has some sedatives in her system," he said, re-adjusting her blankets. "She wasn't on a high dose, but it might be a while before her body flushes it out."

"That's fine. If need be, Ragna can do it herself when she arrives," said Thor. He moved aside to let the nurse continue his work. "With any luck, we'll be out of your hair before the day is out."

"There's no luck about it," Loki growled.

The nurse, a daintily built man not unlike what Steve Rogers had once been, shied away from Loki's glare and wrote quickly on his tablet with shaking fingers.

"Brother," Thor said wearily.

Loki ground his teeth. The need to unleash his rage at the nearest target had yet to ease, but he forced calm into his tone when he addressed the man. "Thank you for all you've done for my wife. I am eternally grateful."

He must have sounded more convincing than he felt, as the nurse felt safe enough to look him in the eye and drop his tablet, leaving all his vital areas exposed. "For what it's worth, I have a wife, too, and I know if it were her, I'd be freaking out just as much as you are."

Loki would have said it meant nothing, but for once in his life, he couldn't find it in him to lie.

Jane's room was a single bed suite overlooking downtown Albuquerque. The curtains were drawn, filling the room with natural light. Loki had no idea what time it was or how many hours had passed since the explosion. It felt like ten, but whether it was ten hours or ten minutes, Jane would be appalled if she knew how much time she'd wasted in bed when she could've been fixing the bridge.

He was not at her side as he should have been. Thor was. It was not his hand clasped around hers, and it would not be his voice coaxing her into wakefulness. He would be on the window sill, invisible to the naked eye as hot rays pounded mercilessly at his back.

He had already cast the cloaking spell, but somehow, Thor knew exactly where to look. "Are you sure about this?"

It was only the fifth time he'd asked. "If we're going to restore Jane's memory, we need to know how much she's forgotten. Right now, she might believe you two are still… involved."

He'd never asked how far his and Jane's relationship went before they ended it. One of the first things he did with Jane at the start of their courtship was go through all his former lovers from the first girl he kissed to the last noblewoman he slept with. Her list was barely a tenth as long as his, and Thor wasn't on it. That was good enough for him.

Whatever happened next, he wouldn't complain. He might come away wanting to strangle his brother, but that was hardly a new feeling. If enduring five minutes of his wife fawning over Thor meant bringing her back, so be it. He told himself this again and again as Thor caressed her cheek and he instinctively summoned a knife.

"Jane," Thor whispered, nudging her. "Wake up, my love."

Loki gritted his teeth. 'For Jane. It's for Jane…'

"Whasit…" she moaned.

"Can you hear me, Jane? It's me, Thor."

"Thor…" her eyes fluttered. "Thor? Isat you?"

Thor shot Loki an encouraging look as Jane struggled to sit up. He placed a gentle hand on her chest. "Don't try to move. You're still weak."

"My head," Jane mumbled. "Feels like jello…"

"You have a concussion, but we're bringing in a specialist to help you. It'll be over soon, love, I promise."

Jane moaned but didn't object to being forced to stay in bed. Yet another abnormality Loki hoped Ragna could fix. "How long've I been here?"

"A few hours," Thor said. "Barely even a day."

"Feels like months. How'd I get here?"

"You were in an accident." Thor glanced at Loki again, as if asking permission to go on. "The system malfunctioned. I don't know all the details, but I have no doubt you'll get the problem fixed just as soon as you're well, my love."

Okay, now he was laying it on too thick. Loki would have dragged him outside and played a rousing game of 'get help' with the nearest brick wall, except now Jane's eyes were fully open and locked onto Thor with a peculiar expression.

"Thor, no offense, but it's weird when you call me that. You know we broke up ages ago."

Thor stared at her, as did Loki. He almost lost control of his magic and just barely regained himself before his legs reappeared.

"You remember that?" Thor leaned all the way over her. "Do you know where we were?"

Jane closed her eyes and opened them again. "I think… the sandwich shop? The one with the meatball subs you like… it was before Thanos came…"

"Thanos?" Thor and Loki said together, and if Loki had to guess, it was only by the grace of her muddied perceptions that she didn't immediately start screaming.

"We went there, and I said it wasn't working… said you weren't around enough, so we should just be friends..."

"And what happened after? What happened with Thanos? Do you remember?"

"Hard to forget. We found a way to- to use the stones against him. Tony was… I brought him the weapon… ran through the battle… that was stupid…"

"Perhaps," Thor said fondly, "but if it hadn't been for you, we would have lost the day and the universe with it."

"Yeah…" Jane murmured. "It was fun…"

"I don't know if fun is the word I'd use," he said. "What does your husband think?"

Jane started to respond, or Loki thought she did, but the drugs in her veins held a death grip on her mind, dulling her normally incomparable cognitive abilities. A low hiss was all she managed as she sunk into the mattress.

"Jane," Thor said a little louder, "what does Loki think?"

"Loki…" she groaned, her eyebrows knit together. "Loki's dead… he died… didn't he?"

"No, Jane, he didn't." Thor held her hand. Squeezed it tightly. "He's alive and he's waiting for you. He misses you so much."

"But… he died… I saw the body… oh, my head…"

Her eyes glazed over and Loki knew that was all they'd get. He moved with a zombie-like gait towards the door. It opened for him as if by an unseen force and he kept walking until he was too numb to go on.

"She remembers Thanos," he muttered, trusting only Thor would hear him over the bustle of activity. "She remembers the war, she remembers _you_. She remembers everything except…"

"Wait, brother, perhaps it isn't so," said Thor, ever the optimist. "If she knows so much, it must mean her memory is returning on its own."

"But if that were true, why would I not be the first thing she remembers?" Loki seethed. "Or Christina. She should've asked about her first thing, and then she should have asked about the bridge. That's the Jane Foster I married, and the woman in that room is not her."

"I don't know, Loki. I wish I did." Thor sighed heavily. "I wish we could turn back time and make it so this never happened."

"If only," Loki said. "Unfortunately, the necessary conditions needed for successful spacetime travel are physically impossible."

"Jane checked?"

"Jane checked."

Thor smiled. It was devoid of true happiness, but a smile nonetheless. "She is an incredible woman. Truly in a league of her own."

As if Loki needed to be told twice.

Stark arrived with his usual perfect timing right at that moment. He was slightly more put together, having presumably stopped to touch up before throwing himself into the veritable lion's den that was the press. Sunglasses perched on his nose gave him the illusion of aloofness, when they came off his eyes were bloodshot.

"God I'm tired," he said following a twenty-second yawn. "I need coffee. Or vodka. Whatever I can get the fastest. Anyway, did I miss anything?"

Thor gave Stark a quick rundown of the last half hour while Loki watched Jane's heart monitor. Just in case something changed.

"So now we're dealing with selective amnesia," Stark said. He patted Loki's shoulder. "That's rough, buddy."

With a steely glare, Loki shoved the unwanted hand away. "Remind me why I haven't tried to kill you lately?"

"Because if you did, we couldn't tag each other in embarrassing facebook posts anymore and you'd get bored." Stark leaned against the wall like he owned the place (and maybe he did). "One thing I don't get: where's this 'Loki is dead' thing coming from? She thinks you're still on that elf planet?"

"More than likely," said Thor. "If her last memory of Loki is seeing him dead, it's the only explanation. She didn't find out he was alive until after Thanos came."

"Which still doesn't explain why she's forgotten me," Loki interjected, pacing around the two men. "How is it possible that she'd lose her memories of our family and nothing else?"

"It does seem too neat to be accidental," Thor conceded.

"Wait, are we thinking this was sabotage now?" asked Tony. "Because I'd believe someone tampering with Jane's bridge to try and kill her, but that blast only just had enough power to give her a head injury and she was at ground zero."

"It was enough to distort her memory, sabotage or no," said Loki.

Stark's phone buzzed, putting the debate on hold as he read through his messages. For the first time since this nightmare began, a genuine grin broke through the gloom.

"Well, intentional or no, we're about to get the ball rolling." He held up his phone and the single sentence message from his trusty chauffeur. "That was Shuri. Ragna will be here in approximately ten seconds."

Nine seconds later, the elevator doors opened to reveal a petite, golden-haired young woman flanked by two massive guards. They were made no less intimidating by their decision to dress in Midgardian clothes, though Loki wondered if sweatpants were really the best option. The trio moved with synchronized steps, the already small woman made even smaller by the height and girth of her companions. She was the only one whose look suggested otherworldly origins, from her flowing white gold dress to her flawless skin. Her hair flowed to her back in perfect ringlets, her blue eyes deep and filled with age-old wisdom. She kept her head bowed, as was customary when presenting oneself to royalty.

"Your majesty," she curtsied for Thor and Loki in turn. "Your Highness."

"Ragna," Thor took her hand and kissed it. "Thank you for coming on such short notice."

"It's my honor to be of assistance," she said. "King T'Challa and Princess Shuri send their regards. They hope for Lady Jane's swift recovery, and are prepared to help however they can if needed."

"Please send them our deepest thanks," said Loki, "though I don't think we'll need any more assistance from here."

"No, your highness, neither do I," Ragna answered, and though they'd only met a handful of times, Loki had never liked her quite so much.

Together they returned to Jane's room. Hospital policy only allowed two visitors at a time, but it was spacious enough inside to easily fit six. Ragna kneeled before Jane's sleeping form with Loki overseeing her work from above. Thor and Stark waited at the foot of the bed and Ragna's guards kept watch by the door.

Ragna wiped the sweat off Jane's brow. A line of saliva had leaked out the side of her mouth, trailing down to her chin. Ragna cleaned that up and, with Thor's help, rolled Jane on her back. A pitiful moan escaped her lips and Loki almost intervened to stop them.

"You can hold her hand if you wish," Ragna said.

He flexed his fingers, as he'd unconsciously been doing for the past few minutes. Wordlessly, he obeyed, sliding his fingers between Jane's and doing his best to ignore how limp they were.

Ragna nodded at him, a reassuring gesture that did nothing but worsen his nerves. He held back a shudder as Ragna placed her thumb on Jane's forehead, a ball of light forming at the tip. She ran tight circles over the bridge of Jane's nose. Magic sunk into her flesh, illuminating her face and bringing color back to her cheeks.

No one said a word or moved a muscle as she worked. It was hard to know who to pray to when he was essentially a god himself, but as he waited for Ragna's verdict, Loki begged his mother in Valhalla that this would work and there'd be no more unpleasant surprises.

"Her mind is cloudy," Ragna said, frowning slightly. "I'm sensing great pain and her thoughts are scattered."

"That's probably the concussion," said Stark, after what must have been the longest period of silence in his entire life. "Think you can fix it?"

The white glow of Ragna's magic intensified, then dimmed down to normal. "I just did."

Stark whistled. "You guys are good."

Ragna moved from Jane's forehead to her temples, mouthing incantations. Jane's fingers curled around Loki's, which he took to be a good sign. Ragna chanted under her breath, moving through Jane's memories with a practiced grace Loki begrudgingly acknowledged he didn't possess.

"Do you see anything?"

"Not so far. I've just past your first encounter with her following Malekith's invasion."

"She punched him in the face," Thor 'whispered' to Stark.

"Remind me to buy her a drink later."

Loki reminded himself to kill them both later.

He bit down on his tongue as the seconds snailed by, lest he give in to the temptation to snap at Ragna. His heart skipped several beats when her expression suddenly shifted from concentrated to baffled.

"What is it?" he demanded. "What do you see?"

She opened her eyes, her skin blanched the same shade as Jane's. "Her- her memory is intact."

Loki froze, unable to move no matter how many signals his brain fired off. "Then it's done? She remembers me?"

Ragna shook her head. "That's just it, your highness. Her memories are here, but you're not in them."

"Not in them?" Thor piped up. "With all due respect, Ragna, if Jane's memory is back, Loki and Christina should be at the forefront."

"I know, your majesty, I can't explain it." She pressed down harder as if that would change what she'd seen. "Prince Loki isn't here beyond the battle of Svartalfheim, and Princess Christina is absent completely. It's as if she never knew them at all."

"So where does that leave us?" Loki's voice had gone dangerously low. "You're saying there's  _nothing_  where our family should be?"

"Actually, there is something." Ragna hesitated, but in the face of two irate royals, she had no choice but to continue. "I see another man where Prince Loki should be. A man and a boy. The boy looks like the man, but his eyes are Lady Jane's."

"What man?" Loki shot to his feet. "Who is he?"

"I don't recognize him."

" _Describe_  him!"

Ragna flinched, but Loki didn't care. Better he shouted than broke something. Swallowing, Ragna refocused on Jane. "He's tall with dark hair. His stance is powerful. He carries himself like a warrior. It's strange. He's human, but… more than somehow. He's…" She trailed off, her hands sliding to her sides. Though she faced Loki, she seemed to be talking to herself when she asked: "What sort of man has a metal arm?"

**

Christina was back in her dream world, playing in the garden under a happy sun. The boy with the teddy bear was here, too. He was picking at the grass and kept saying how it should be green, not purple. Christina decided she liked him. He had cooties for sure- all boys did- but he was nice and knew good games so she'd make an exception for him.

"Wanna play My Little Pony?" she summoned Twilight Sparkle. In her dream, the toy was three times as big and twice as soft.

The boy gagged. "That's for girls."

"No, it's not. It's for everyone," Christina said. She plucked a second doll out of the air, dropping it at his feet. "Here, you can be Spike. He's a dragon."

"He doesn't look like a dragon."

"That's 'cause he's still a baby. Like you."

The boy put his hands on his hips. "I'm not a baby! I'm three years old."

"Well, I'm three and a half, so there."

He stuck his tongue out at her, so Christina stuck her tongue out back. They tried to see how long they could do it, but then their mouths got tired and they had to stop. Christina brushed Twilight's mane, then set her up for a tea party with Pinkie Pie and Rarity. She thought about making the table bigger so Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack could join them. Maybe she'd even invite Starlight Glimmer or Princess Celestia. Thinking about more guests kept her from thinking about Mommy, so she came up with a few more and then moved on to deciding where they'd sit.

"How's your mom?" the boy asked.

"I don't know," Christina said as the blue sky turned gray. "I tried to talk to her, but she didn't remember me."

The boy hugged his bear. "My mom didn't remember me either. She said she didn't have a son."

"My mommy said she didn't have a daughter." As scary as this was, Christina liked having a friend who understood. "The grown-ups all said I had to wait, but I didn't want to. I used my magic so I could sneak out."

"I just kicked people and stepped on their feet until they moved," said the boy, puffing out his chest proudly. "I can do that because I'm strong like my dad but all the grown-ups think I'm not."

"Grown-ups are dumb."

"Yeah…"

He sat down at the table and Christina handed him a teacup. It had apple juice in it because real tea was gross. The boy propped his bear up against a water pitcher and Christina gave him his own cup.

"I hope your mommy gets better," she said.

He looked like he wanted to cry, but he didn't. Maybe he thought he was too old to cry, or too tough. Boys were silly like that. "Thanks. I hope your mom gets better, too."

His body shimmered like glass when the sunlight hits it. Slowly, he faded away. First, he was solid, and then Christina could see through him.

"I guess you have to go now," she said, hanging her head. It was lonely without him. "Bye-bye Jacob."

"Bye Christina."

It felt like he was dragged away on a hook, but he wasn't moving. The world changed around him. The purple grass became a rough blue carpet. The mountains shrank into the wall, behind a bunch of posters covered in words he couldn't read. As the dreamland disappeared, Jacob lay on his side, not ready to move yet. He pulled the blanket over his chin, wishing it was as the one he had at home. He missed home. He missed being home with Mom and Dad. It had only been a day since Mom got hurt, but it felt more like a zillion years.

He heard a cough and looked up. A dark shadow was hunched over by the door, not moving much, but not sleeping either. If he was asleep, he'd be snoring. Jacob knew that from experience. Throwing off the blanket, he crept over and tugged on the man's pants leg. "Dad?"

Bucky Barnes raised his head. He looked awful with bags under his eyes and too much stubble. He hadn't slept a wink since they got here, but he put on a brave face as he lifted Jacob into his arms. "Hey, kid. I didn't hear you get up."

"I was quiet," Jacob said. "I wanted to be extra stealthy this time."

"You're getting way too good at that." Bucky mused. "Someday, you'll be better than me."

"Uncle Steve says I'm already better than you."

"Uncle Steve wet the bed until he was eight. What does he know?"

Jacob giggled. It was fun when his dad and Uncle Steve insulted each other. Mom said they had a 'vitriolic' friendship, and he didn't know what that meant but he figured it was because they liked to punch each other a lot during training and then high fived when it was over.

Thinking about Mom made Jacob's chest hurt and stopped him from laughing. He almost wished he had Bucky Bear to cuddle. He wouldn't care if he looked like a baby. "Is Mom better yet?"

Bucky sighed, squeezing Jacob's shoulder in a way that used to make him feel better. "Not yet, kid. Uncle Thor's getting a friend of his to come help She'll be here soon."

"How soon?"

"Not soon enough," Bucky muttered. He checked his phone and sent off a text. It was probably to Shuri, his friend who Jacob hadn't met yet. All he knew was that she was really smart and she gave Dad a new arm. Uncle Tony said she was cool, so Jacob figured it was true. Uncle Tony always knew what was cool.

"She can make Mom better, right?" Jacob asked. "Thor's friend? She can do it, right?"

"Of course she can," said Bucky, and though Jacob was still young, he knew when his dad wasn't telling all the truth. "She'll fix Mom up and then we'll get out of this dump. Go do something fun together. How does McDonald's sound?"

Not as good as having Mom back, but Jacob nodded anyway. "Can we get shamrock shakes?"

Bucky wrinkled his nose. "What is it with you and those things? They taste like toothpaste."

"Mom likes them, too," Jacob said. One of his favorite things to do with Mom was order the largest size shamrock shake possible and slurp on them until Dad was so grossed out, he couldn't finish his double quarter pounder. They'd done it a bunch of times now, but it was always funny.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "What the hell am I going to do with you two?"

"I don't know, but you owe a quarter to the swear jar." There were a lot of quarters in the swear jar.

"Sure thing."

They sat together as the minutes dragged on, Bucky watching the window for any sign of Steve or Tony. His entire being demanded he go find Jane and remain vigil at her side until this nightmare was over. Any other time, he wouldn't have to want it. He'd be doing it. This was different, though. He still remembered the way she'd looked at him. Like he was a complete stranger.

_'Janie, it's me. Your husband!'_

_'No! I don't know you. You're not my husband!'_

_'Baby, please-'_

_'GET AWAY FROM ME!'_

And here he thought that was the end of his nightmares of people cowering in fear of him.

He checked his phone, banishing the image of Jane's terrified expression as he took in her beautiful face mid-laugh on his home screen. The picture was one he took himself while they were on a picnic date. He'd kissed the life out of her after snapping it. She was just so perfect, he couldn't help himself. A reply from Shuri popped up, letting him know Ragna had just landed on the roof and was on her way down. Steve walked in at that very moment.

"She's here," he said.

"I know." Bucky rose, Jacob still in his arms. "Just got the message."

Steve took Jacob from him, meeting little resistance from father or son. "Go on. I'll watch him."

He smiled in that motivating way reserved for educational videos, and Bucky almost felt bad about letting slip that bedwetting story. Steve was a no good punk for sure, but damn if he wasn't a reliable no good punk.

Leaving the waiting room, Bucky activated his proverbial horse blinders. As a sniper, he'd perfected the art of eliminating distractions. Doctors and nurses were everywhere, some of them wheeling patients down the hall. As emaciated or close to death as they looked, Bucky ignored them all as best as he could. It was hardly his first time getting acquainted with the grim reaper, but it was the first time in years he felt like that kid who needed his mother to check under the bed for monsters.

He couldn't even look at the infinity stones war memorial wall, and that thing was huge. Somehow, they'd managed to find a photo of every single person who died fighting that mutated grape fucker ( _'Swear jar…'_ ). Even Loki was up there, rat bastard that he was. Thor had insisted on it, and there were few people out there ballsy enough to say no to a thunder god. In a way, Bucky understood. He couldn't say he liked the guy, but Loki had come through for Earth in the end. He'd fought Thanos to his dying breath and, attempted conquest aside, Bucky respected that.

Hell, in another world, he might've been the one to make the sacrifice play. If he hadn't been so busy dragging a certain reckless scientist off the battlefield. He could live to be two hundred years old and he would never understand what Jane was thinking that day. Sometimes, he wondered if all that brainpower was paradoxically making her dumber, but even if it were true, he wouldn't want her any other way.

She was the love of his life. His perfect match. And by God, he didn't know what he'd do without her.


End file.
